So I've been trying convince work to make me assistant manager, which they wont do until I'm done with school. So after this semester (which I'll get to in a bit) I'm going to take a leave of absense from school so I can become the assistant manager and have health insurance. Frankly I'd feel better about this whole sistuation if I'd been assured the possition, but they keep fapping about about it. I mean I'd be great at the job, the customers already think I run the place. I just suck at the bullshit toadying with management. For instance, a lovely movie called Hysteria is coming out on Tuesday. It's about the invention of the electric vibrator, but it's also about how utterly frakked up women's sexuality was and is considered. Hysteria was a bullshit umbrella term for any woman who did not adhere to what men and victorian society thought proper, which included but not limited too, anger, sexual fantasies, sadness, and dissatisfaction with their lives. For extreme cases women were institutionalized and had their uteruses removed. For milder cases doctors would manually stimulate their labia and clitoris (although goddess know's those idiots had no idea what a clitoris is nor where it was) until they had a "paroxism" that is an orgasm. It was all very ridiculous and offensive when you think of it, but the MOVIE handled it with great humor and affection. You never see any nudity, because it's Victorian England and the doctors didn't even see their patients bodies while performing their "treatment", there's no swearing or even any sexual languages at all. But because it's about women's sexuality, about orgasms and how we have been trained to be ASHAMED of our bodies, the MPAA gave it an R rating. Which pretty much garuantees it wont get seen by many people. Rating it R for sexuality tells people it's like the "American Pie" movies, with it's raunchy dialogue and nudity. It's saying it's on par with movies like "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" which shows a graphic rape scene. That's right, a movie about female orgasms without any actual sex depicted, nor any nudity, are just the same as movies with Graphic Rape scenes.
I wish I'd watched it as a teenager, that I could show it to any girl or boy around puberty, because frankly we don't learn about female orgasms. Period, and it's frakked up. Society at large still act like it's taboo, that it's unclean. It's the perfect example of how outdated and ridiculous the rating board has become. Which was my point when I came all fiesty and ready to have an actual conversation about the movie with my coworkers. Except my boss got all flustered and was all "They rated it that for a reason, Betsy." Shut down because I was saying the word "orgasm", which isn't a bloody bad word!
You know my indomitable hope in the world getting better may have hosed me, since if I'd thought ahead about this all, I'd have just found a place to live this summer, taken a leave of absence for fall instead of spring so I could be working full time and be the assistant manager right now. Oh well.
School's started and I absolutely love my two classes, which I would have missed out on if I hadn't taken classes this fall. I've already finished reading one of my books, Out of the Flames, which was amazing. It's about this man, Michael Servetus, who is burned at the stake by John Calvin, for being smarter than him and a better theologian. The man discovered the circulatory systm, and was an absolute punkass about how much smarter he was than everyone and couldn't help rubbing it in Calvin's face. Of course I adore him. My other class is on art and I am really excited because I've always loved art but have never taken a class on it.
- Current Mood: okay
- Current Music:The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
I got my grades for Spring semester and I got an A in American Religious Histories, and a B in Prophets. I'm not too upset about the Prophets grade because I wrote that thing in the throws of the Plague that was hitting everyone April/May. I'm absolutely delighted with my A though! After that first C paper I was able to adjust how he wanted me to write and I honestly think I became a better writer from it.
My Summer Course was intense. I don't respond well to depressing stuff, especially when it's real and it feels overwhelming. I like solutions and plans and am, when all is said and done, an optimist. Life gets better. It has too. So being inundated with brutal truths like Immigration policy (which is completely fucked by the way; being illegal is a civil crime, which means no Mirandas, no phone calls and its overseen by private companies who are only interested in money!), mono-agriculture and crap ton more was super stressful for me. I wrote my paper on Food, and making it Holy, because I can think of ways each individual can do this. It's not insurmountable. I haven't gotten my grade back for that because my teacher is in Palestine for another class trip.
I turned 26 last week, and today is the first day I am no longer covered by my parents' insurance. Luckily we are doing COBRA for now, and I can do that for a while. I applied for coverage under HealthPartners(TM) but, surprising no one, they rejected me because I have Crohns. Never mind it's controlled by my meds, or that because I have a chronic disease which requires a fairly expensive medication, I really really need it. I'm a bad bet I guess. I'm delighted that the Supreme Courts upheld the No Rejecting people because of Existing Problems but that's not going into effect until 2014, so right now it's more hypothetical than practical for me. Instead I'm going to start working full-time at Family Video and probably become the Assistant Manager. Whether I can stay in school and work full time will be an interesting experiment, but right now my health trumps finishing my degree, plus I love my job. It's not like Wells Fargo where I wanted to punch people in the throat everyday all day.
There are some asshat customers though.
Because we have a half-price program customers can pay for, people can call in and recheck out movies if they can't get in before we close instead of getting late fees. There are some who, in my opinion, take advantage of this privilege, thinking of it not as a privilege but as a right to call whenever and charge on to their account re-rentals instead of paying over the phone with a card number. One woman not only abuses this call-in privilege but does so at the last minute, often literally, as well as cruising in five minutes before we close and dicks around for at least 15 minutes browsing. I mean that's so fucking rude I can't even imagine feeling so entitled as to do something like that. And she has this attitude of a poor abused martyr, always exhausted beyond compare. I mean dude, she knows when we close, she knows when we open. Most days we're open for 13 hours. She can either fit the time in her apparently busy schedule to come in or call in before we're locking the doors.
Last week she swears she made the call at 10:59, but I was locking up when the phone started to ring and I didn't answer it. She came in the next day and was all passive aggressive and bitchy about it. I explained that when the clock turns to 11 (or 12 on fridays and Saturdays) the computer would already register her stuff as late, plus we don't answer the phone after close. She didn't even let me explain fully, just walked away from me in a huff. Last night a dude came in at 11:58 and knew exactly what he wanted so I said "yeah ok, but please be quick." and then before I could show W, who I was training to close, how to lock the doors, this woman busts in and is like "Can I rent?" I say, "Yes, but seriously you can't do this anymore..." to which she just turns around, throws a "Fuck you" over her shoulder and frumps out. Who fucking does that?! And I can't have an adult conversation with her about the whole thing because she just walks away from me. She doesn't give a shit how rude she is, none at all. I'm just glad I don't rise to her bait and kick her ass, but I wish she'd hear me out so I could explain that it's not personal (although I dislike her aggrieved ass quite a bit), but a question of fairness and respect. She's not the only one who works, who rents and who has 1/2 price rentals. If everyone else can consistently call in early enough or get in before the last minute so can she. That's the long and the short of it. Learn to tell time or take the late fees. But if she talks to me like that again I might lose my shit at her. In a totally adult, professional way of course. I mean people can't treat others like this.
The home life is going well. The cats are healthy and happy, and I'm having a great time baking. I do wish I had a better AC unit, because beyond my living room where my wall unit is, my apartment is pretty fucking unbearable. I need to clean and bake bread, but it's so hot! And tomorrow's suppose to be worse. Oh great. It's not that bad. I'll just do a quick vacuum and swab the sink down. At least my bread will rise quickly.
Anyways poor S, who hates A for being a bully and a shit manager like the rest of us, ended up staying an hour later than she was supposed to b/c A hadn't balanced the vault and just HAD to do it right that fucking moment. A did not thank S once from what I could hear, and when she was on till she'd take these long phone calls in her office! I had to go get her like 3 times!
Anyways once it called down around 5:30 A was all, "Betsy, you need to be more aware of your tone of voice, because when you questioned me about the tech support I felt like you were rather rude."
Now part of my brain was screaming "RATHER RUDE? FUCK YOU LADY, YOU ARE THE RUDE ONE FOR NOT DOING YOUR IMMEDIATE DAMN JOB WHICH IS HELPING CUSTOMERS AND BEING CHRONICALLY UNABLE TO USE YOUR BRAIN TO SOLVE A PROBLEM!! YOU WANT RUDE? I'M FUCKING QUITTING RIGHT NOW, ENJOY YOUR LIFE YOU COW!"
I love that part of my brain, I do, but I used my diplomatic brain to apologize, but I couldn't help saying, "But wouldn't that have made more sense? To have V call? So you could run transactions?"
She said no, because.... she is stupid as far as I can tell, then bitched about why SH and S didn't call in this morning.
Primal Brain Betsy screamed at that, let me tell you, but Diplomatic Betsy managed to only say, "I think they were super busy."
OH and! The completely useless and literally terrible at her job teller DVS, who has MORE THAN ONCE left money on the counter and left more than once, managed to loose a 4000$ cash business deposit. So A, who is not the only freaking manager in the branch mind you, had to take time to research this. Primal Brain Betsy and Diplomatic Betsy lamented this out loud. Guess what A said? "Everyone makes mistakes." I literally had to walk away, because all parts of my brain wanted to freak out at her. I am going to probably loose my job b/c I don't make enough sales. This woman makes more mistakes that cost us money and customer trust on a weekly basis, and NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS TO HER! Because somehow she makes enough sales. Explain that logic to me please.
I am so fucking happy I don't work tomorrow, needless to say. I do need to go shopping for binders and calenders and hunt down my package which wasn't delivered b/c the school building was closed. I have no idea where my LotR Extended Blu-rays are but I want them, precious, I want them.
- Current Location:Home
- Current Mood: pissed off
- Current Music:Craig Ferguson
Today she, wonder of wonders, SHOWED UP FUCKING HUNGOVER and bitching about it. First of all, I don't fucking care, about your head or your eyes or your tongue. Not even a little bit. If she was some one I like maybe I'd dredge up some sympathy, but I don't like her so there you go. Second, she planned to drink to excess and then come to work hungover. Like a fucking 21 year old College student. I clearly told her, before hand, how I would react to her if she did this, so when I calmly and clearly told her "Dude, shut up about it. You did this to yourself and I don't want to hear you bitching about it", she should be thankful I didn't really punch her stupid fucking face in. I just don't understand why anyone would a) decide to seek out a hangover and b) do so knowing she works at a busy, stressful job. WHO FUCKING DOES THAT?!
Also, to the woman I helped at 11: Fuck you. I did try to greet you and introduce myself, but your window was up and you apparently did not see my shining, smiling face in the monitor. And then you fucking binged in to complain about how long you'd been waiting, but when literally seconds after A talked to you I came back on to reintroduce myself and tell you I was almost done, YOUR WINDOW WAS BACK UP AND YOU APPARENTLY COULD NOT SEE ME AGAIN! Hey, I even thanked you for your business when I sent your stuff back to you. My point is, when you expect good customer service, which we all should! Maybe you should be even a little bit of a good customer so that those of us who want to be good Clerks and Tellers and whatnot can dazzle you with our awesomeness. And, by the way, we are awesome and we would have dazzled you. Like a fucking SMeyer Vampire on a sunny day in July. This is the face of an amazing Bank Teller, you cunt. And you missed it. :D
ANYWAYS!! Happy holidays everyone. I hope whatever you do for these State Sanctioned Days Off are perfect and lovely and filled with love and sparkles and puppies. Or whatever you want.
- Current Location:Home
- Current Mood: annoyed
- Current Music:Batman: Brave and the Bold
Hey do you guys remember when I would post like every single day if not every single week? Man high school fun, wasn't it?
Anyways I thought I'd drop a line just to give everyone a quick rundown of my life so far.
1) I do not belong in my current job. This does not mean I am not good at the very bear bones of my job, because I fucking am! I balance almost every single day, in fact I've balanced these last 2 months straight. I know the system, and many of the rules and if I don't, I FUCKING ASK! The customers don't look at me as the "new person" anymore, and I'm getting better at listening not talking. My fellow tellers and bankers like me.
Nope, what's holding me up is my ethics. I do not feel ethical pressuring people to buy things they do not need, like credit cards, or new accounts, nor do I track things that I know I cannot. If someone comes up saying "I need to talk to a banker," I do not track at as a potential sale. Other people do. For me, people come to the bank to do very basic transactions usually. they do not want to be badgered every single time they come to a bank for shit like auto loans or CDs. If they need those things they ask. My job is to give and take money, be polite and answer any questions they have and make them aware of any changes to their account. I don't use scare tactics, or misconceptions or sneaky actions.
My sales suck for all those reasons. If it was just a question of loosing out on bonuses I wouldn't mind. I live off my Student Loans. But no, I've been informed that unless my numbers improve, that is unless I'm at 1/3 of where I need to be by the end of January I'm fired. Just like that. And I don't really care. Fuck them. I just need to find another job and health insurance.
2) School this semester has gone really REALLY well. I loved all my classes, and I learned lots. I'm all done with Foundations of Religious Ed, and we'll find out how my final project went.
I'm actually really proud of my lesson plan. We got to develop 5 class sessions, and I chose to develop a course about teaching religion through the Stories told in those religions! I emphasized Oral, Performances/Pagaents and Written. I hope to god I get a good grade, but frankly I was so proud of myself and happy with my course that I almost don't care. I WANT to teach this!
My Historical Theology final is on Monday and I have no fucking idea how to study for it. I have gone to class, read the books, written the papers and gotten B+s on them (which is amazing considering the man does not give out many or any As), and I went to the review sessions. Aside from reviewing my notes I don't know what else to do. I always get Donatism and Pelagianism mixed up, but now I've got it straightened out I'm okay. Donatists believed that the sanctity of the administrator of the sacraments affects their own holiness. That is, if a Priest was a pedophile or just a jerk then all sacraments administered by that priest is null and void. Pelagians believed that human beings CAN fulfill the laws set out by the OT and the Sermon on the Mound, and that to be Sanctified we must strive to achieve this. See? Different!
3) Aside from some swelling of my knees and knuckles I've been weirdly healthy this semester. I'm seeing the Rhuematologist in January. Hopefully I can get all those tests and shit done before my health insurance goes away if and when I'm fired. My life would be so much less stressful if I didn't have Crohns, but I could be so much sicker than I am. Small miracles, eh right?
4) I have injured myself like five times in the last few days. Okay only three times, but still! I'm allergic to something in this new juice i was tyring out last week and had an upset stomach, followed by a blistered tongue. Then I was defuzzing my sweater and managed to take a chunk out of my thumb with the razor. And then Tuesday I was baking Gingerbread cookies (I only burnt 1 batch!) and touched a pan with the webbing between thumb and finger and have a nice little burn from it.
5) I am half done with my Holiday shopping. I need to get Robin and Tyson done, and then pick up my stocking stuffers.
- Current Location:Home
- Current Mood: content
Her name is Becky Bear and she's sitting on my dresser because I cleaned my sheets today and I didn't want her getting washed. She was given to me at birth by my parents and I can remember a few nights without her and they were always slightly unpleasant.
My oldest sister isn't given her first born, and my first nephew, a woobie (stuffed animal or whatever) because it might cause SIDS. I completely totally understand this. Fuck in the same situation I might do the same thing. That being said there is something wrong with a baby not having a stuffed animal to clutch at, play with and nom on. Now, I'm not suggesting that the Kid should develop attachment issues like Linus on Peanuts, or one of my friends who's stuffy ended up being a kind of surrogate friend w/ her own personality. But there is something vital in having a silent confidant, playmate and ally, whatever shape that may take. Playing with others is great fun, but for me the most fun was being alone, playing w/ my Barbies and dolls, making up these elaborate plots and story lines. I think it helped me develop my imagination, let me create and act out stories that otherwise I would never have been able to. I don't know if having Becky from birth onward made that possible, but I know being told that it's OK to do so did. To remedy this I'm going to start knitting him a toy tiger (Think Hobbs). I figure by the time I'm done, the danger of SIDS will be well past and Tigers are butch enough that the Brother-In-Law won't have to much trouble wit it.
Tomorrow is my first day of Hebrew. I am both super excited and kind of freaked out. Mostly b/c it's on a campus I do not know, and it's at 8am which means I'll be going into the city with everyone else on their commute. So I figure I'll leave at 7:15, hope I get there early-ish and maybe even find a nice little coffee shop or something.
I'm also a little nervous that having only an hour between the end of class and when I have to be on the road for work at 12:30 won't be enough time to eat and change.
This afternoon I spent a lovely time outside, got just a little sunburned (we'll see just how sunburned it is tomorrow since it always seems worse in the morning after), got my laundry done and made some really weird guacamole. it's like avocado risotto. Doesn't take bad, per say, just odd.
- Current Mood: happy
- Current Music:Doctor Who "Almost People"
Haven't tried this in a while. If it doesn't work I'll add the links to my TwitPic account so you can find them there too. twitpic.com/53wkgq
( Jonah: A Story of God"s Unending Mercy (and sense of humor)Collapse )
Commence Ass Kissing!
- Current Mood: ecstatic
- Current Music:RED
- Current Mood: excited
- Current Music:Roman Vice
We'll start with Con since this is my default setting.
A( Vampire Diaries Musings Collapse )
In other news I had Easter Brunch with my paternal side of the family at my Gramma's apartment. It was okay because i got to see my 2nd cousins' (kids of cousins), a cute little girl and a chubby little baby. Adorable. And once again I aparently have some Baby-Fu because I got the baby to smile and giggle like I did with nephew Ty who I saw on Friday. Also one of my cousin's husband has a majestic mustache. Seriously, we're talking handlebar, curly-cue 'stache. Why men do these things is beyond me, but whatever, guy. He also road his bike there and back in full "serious bike rider gear"- ie skin tight shorts and shirt- which made the 'stache all the better. The food was okay, if flavorless, and I couldn't have any fruit salad because it had pineapple in. Plus my appetite was kind of curbed because the dining area stunk of cat pee and poop. I didn't want to look under the table for fear of seeing urine stains or turds. I wanted to take complaining neighbor-lady and rub her nose in it. "See, you complaining bitch, this is what a 'disturbing smell of cat' is!" I love my Gramma, but she might be where I got my disgusting gene from; neither of us are the cleanest of women, although mine's due too laziness and distractability, while her's is because of a lack of self worth.
Yesterday I bought sweat pants (with pockets!) to walk in so I didn't get my jeans all sweaty when I work out. I bought XL because it's fucking Target which usually has sizes like American Apparel-ie mean to women with boobs and hips. Got home and not only did they fit, but they were actually little too large! I was so delighted by this that I opted to keep them, because generally I like "just too big" versus "just too small" and finding "just right" seems unlikely in 10 dollar pants. I should have taken them back. Since I carry my phone, iPod and id with me on my walks (If I get hit by a car I want them to know who I am and who to call), what was "just too big" translated into me pulling my pants up over my ass every ten seconds. I'm a classy lady. I also bought a pedometer, which I promptly forgot to put on. I'm a winner folks. On the other hand, I'm finding that I'm looking forward to my walks. Like a lot! Tried a different park today, which I learned is NOT designed for walking like the one I've been going to most often, but for playing sports and such. Did have an off the path path which was nice and foresty, except it dumped me on the side of a very busy road. I might walk the neighborhood twice a week because it has more hills and such, and stick to the park 3 times since it's basically flat. I also need to start doing weight lifting, which for whatever reason is harder to get into the habit of than my walkies.
In work related news I need another fucking job. I had my conversation with my two service managers and I thought I was very articulate and calm in explaining my situation. My reduction in hours was okayed by the previous SMs, and I have always been very flexible with my hours, willing to pick up shifts if someone was sick or switching with people, but that I cannot work 28 hours a week during school. I explained that I have a chronic disease which means I am very prone to fatigue, and after 7 hours of work I just can't mentally or physically do school work. My education and health must come first. And I got, "WE accommodated you when we reduced your hours, so we don't have to honor that accommodation. After next week you're back to 18 hours. Kind of. Be a team player. Your numbers suck. We do want you here. We'll try to find someone to cover one of your shifts." So basically nothing. I also brought up that my numbers may suck, but without guidance, which is what B's job is, how can they expect me to improve?! No satisfactory answer to that either, which honestly doesn't surprise me, just disappoints me.
I filled out an application for Starbucks, which I know offers insurance, but i haven't heard back from them. Now I'm going to start seriously looking. I need a job to pay for rent and food, but I need something that will be flexible since I'm taking Hebrew this summer. I seriously doubt WF would let me have every morning off for an hour class.
- Current Mood: okay
- Current Music:Despicable ME!
*I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
*I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
*I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
*We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
*I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
*I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
*I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
*I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
*We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
*I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
*I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
*I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
*I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
*I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
*I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
*I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
*I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
*I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
*I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia/transphobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
- Current Mood: determined